Sigh...

It’s my mother’s fault. Even though she was a self-employed cleaning lady, she wasn’t very good at making us clean the house. I didn’t have to clean the house, anyway, because it was always clean. Funny, that.

It took me a long time to realize that many heavily advertised products work less well than those ads make you think. And it also took me a long time to understand that you must have all the tools needed to actually clean something. We had a bottle of ammonia in the house once, and I used it to wash the windows and mirrors, but since I didn’t have newspaper, it was a wasted effort (Google ammonia and newspaper and you’ll know why).

No matter what I tried, there were things that I just couldn’t get clean.

Take grout, for instance. Once it gets dirty, you can’t clean it. Bleach has only limited success, and it can damage the grout. You can’t vaccuum it up, you can’t mop it away. So you end up with grotty grout (pretend you’re British and you'll understand).

And the whole “toothbrush as cleaning implement” thing: you’ve got to be kidding me. Am I really supposed to get down on my hands and knees and clean crevices with a toothbrush? Right.

Put away the salts, Martha, it's not that kind of Vapor

The VaporClean TR5 is a hard-working, Italian-made vapor steam cleaning machine. It's Italian because they have the best vapor technology: think espresso, darling, think espresso. It's a nifty little stainless steel job, weighing under 13.5 pounds (with another 64 ounces when fully filled - oh wait, that's volume ounces, not weight ounces...), three swivel wheels, a good long power cord, and all manner of accoutrement.

The VaporClean TR5 takes approximately 2 quarts/2 liters water (that’s 2 pourings of a 1 quart Pyrex mixing bowl), and takes 10 minutes to reach proper temprature/pressure.

The Vapor Clean TR5 comes with lots of bells and whistles, which, for a vapor steam cleanter means alot of brushes and hoses. The accessory pack for the TR5 includes:

• Stainless, Nylon and Brass Small Detail Brushes

• 2 Extension Wands

• Large Floor Brush w/ Clips

• Large Triangle Tool w/ Clips

• Detail Attachment Tool

• Medium Round Brush

• Window Squeegee

• Detachable Hose

• Garment Pad

If you have a cleaning need, the Vapor Clean TR5 has a brush for it. So far, I have cleaned the gungy grooves of our shower doors, the entire microwave, the grout on the floor tiles in the downstairs bathroom, and all the mirrors in the house.

I am steaming...clean!

I'm a little hazy on the "vapor" thing versus the "steam" thing, but I think vapor has less moisture, which means things dry off quickly, and it's not completely temperature-based, meaning you won't (necessarily) send yourself to the hospital if you touch something you've just vapor-cleaned.

You can change the level of vapor, so you can have a huge "whoosh" of it, or you can have a little "hiss" of it (for when you need more heat than vapor).

Click here to watch the "whoosh."

It takes a little bit of getting used to, the VaporClean TR5, but it's not a big learning curve, and you'll be on your cleaning way in about 15 mintues.

You fill up the reservoir with water, turn it on, and in about nine minutes you'll have a fully pressured vapor-based piece of cleaning equipment.

.The hose "plugs" into place on one end...

And various head attachments bung into the other end.

The unit is not very heavy--even when filled with water--and has excellent wheels for taking it into every single room in your house (including closets) to find something to clean. It has a long cord, and a clever handle, and a sports bag for stowing all your acoutrement.

"Fame is a Vapor" Horace Greeley; "So is Vapor" Carolyn Donovan

Since the vapor is under pressure, it's really, really, really not a good idea to be peering down the nozzle when you press the lever. Depending on how you use it and what you use it for, you can get close to an hour of cleaning with just one fillerup

If you're not gonna RTFM (email me if you don't know what that means), at least read this:

• ONLY OPEN THE VAPORCLEAN RESERVOIR WHEN THE RED "FILL" LIGHT IS ON. And when you do it, wrap a towel around your hand and keep the rest of yourself well away from the opening. There’s a one-second release of steam, and although it’s much less powerful than if you opened it while fully pressurized, it’s enough to smart.

• Ditto with the re-filling. The empty cavity is boiling hot, so when you add water, it splutters. You can pour the water without looking directly down into the hole. Believe me.

"I feel Clean-y, oh so Clean-y..."

It is a little amazing how hot water and pressure can clean things other things can't. For instance, bacteria, fungus, and dust mites cannot withstand the heat and so die (as in "die, die, you fiends!"). You will get one really really clean space. And once you get into the whole "cleaning with nothing but vapor and heat" mentality, you will not stop. You will clean the inside of the microwave, for instance, and so will decide to clean the grooves on the outside of the microwave that are too small for any sponge to have gotten into in 12 years. Then after the outside of the microwave is clean, you'll notice how gunky the cabinets are on either side of the microwave, and will decide to do them as well. And then you will notice the rest of the cabinets in the kitchen and decide to clean them. And then...well, you see how you can get yourself in a cleaning spiral.

I cleaned my kitchen floor...

...and the caulking around the shower doors, which was so disgusting-looking that you can only see the before and after pics by clicking here.

Brought to You Possibly by Clean Freaks

Vapor Clean Products, Inc., the folks that import the VaporClean TR5 and other models, is a small company in Florida, and they so totally believe in their products that just reading their web site will make you a believer as well. They stand behind their products, and are really helpful when you contact them. They want their customers to be happy, can you believe it? Their website is chock-a-block with tips on how/where to use the product(s), along with tons of photos from actual customers. Who knew there are so many of us out there that what to share the grungiest, gunkiest images of our physical lives with total strangers? Don't worry, you get one of these things, you'll be posting before/after pictures on your webiste, too.

Vapor Clean Products, Inc.

http://www.vaporcleanproducts.com/

Products: between $269-$1,295

Residential and Professional vapor steam cleaning products - totally worth the price!

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